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Let’s say He/She is attractive. You’re attracted with him/her. 
You want to get to know that one better. One date becomes another dates and so on.
You’re simply falling in love with that person.

In every date, you’re mesmerized by their beauty in the first 10 minutes.You put on a smile as relax you can be, yet the voice in your heart keep asking, “Is she worth it? What if she’s just like another girl?”,  “What if he’s just toying around with me?” and soon your head is fulled with another zillion what ifs. 
People say that you need to consider about three things before things getting deeper. They say you can know him/her from what comes out from their mouth, when you bring these topics:
  • The Ex File
Well, usually woman is the one who likes to bring out this kind of topic. However, some people might be sensitive when it comes to the Ex file. 
People say you can know how he/she will treat you, from their past relationship. If they break up because she’s cheating on him, there might be a chance that he will be really 
suspicious about you. He can be so possessive, as if you’re imprisoned. It’s sucks. 
If he really liked her before, he was really hurt. Handle his heart with care. It’s more fragile than you think it’s
Don’t trust too much about one sided story, especially when he gave all blame to her. If he always mentioned something harsh about her, there’s possibilities he would do such thing about you if you break up with him.
  • Family
When talking about family, if she’s excited, she’s indeed a family woman. If she’s not, she is also not interested in courtship. The alarm will beep if she choose to talk about fashion, career, etc. 
Or, If he’s really close with his mother, perhaps he’s mother complex. You need to be careful!
  • Future
When talking about future: future career, jobs, future plan, etc; he just smile and shrug his shoulder. He’s simply not ready. He still have not figured out where he want to go. If he doesn’t plan about his future, how will he think about your future with him? Or perhaps he never think about it?
Those are what most people tell you. Those are what people usually assume. Perhaps you like to assume as well. Isn’t it fun to guess what’s inside that person in front of you? 
What if the assumption comes from your fear? Fear about getting hurt if this relationship fail.
Try to think: What if your assumption is totally wrong?
Assumption is mother of screwed up. Don’t make your assumption bias your perception about him/her. 
If he’s possessive and suspicious, show him if you are trustworthy. Show him that you won’t cheat on him.
If she was not interested in talking about family, it does not always mean mean that she’s not interested to settle. Perhaps, her family was really suck and broken. Show her that she deserves to have a family in the future. 
If he does not know about his future yet, grow with him if you dare. Help him to figure out his future. 
What matters most is not the past, but the future you want to build together. What matters most is not The Ex file, but how you two will fight to keep the relationship tied. What matters most is neither her shattered family nor his unsettled future path, but the hope you two share in this.
Fall in love with that one freely. Find someone who you want to love. Find someone you want to share happiness with. 
Find someone you are excited to talk to. Someone who you can imagine talking to one day long. Because that one day will be another one days, another years, another decades together.
You two will be just laying on your bed and talking to each others, the day you’re not even able to stand up. 
What really matters is how much you want to share in this relationship. 
And i know that a lot of people wants to bitch-slap me the moment they read this.
In the end, love is what matters. Love makes everything simple ” – Blair Waldorf

Pamela Kahar
[email protected]

A woman who is blessed to be a blessing. A marketer who reads and writes.

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