FEAR, INSECURITIES & SELF IDENTITY: GETTING TO KNOW YOU
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fear-insecurities

TALKS ON INSECURITIES & SELF IDENTITY

Be honest with yourself, while answering the questions.

In a scale of 1 to 10, how deep you think you know about yourself?

In the world that is so busy, where information or gossips about other people spread like virus, where someone else’s life might interest you more than your own, how much you think you know about you?

Let’s start with..

“What is your biggest fear?”

They say fear is triggered by some unfortunate event occurred in the past. When it reaches certain level, the fear develops into insecurity. Some people are insecure with their relationship because they were being cheated, not once, but more. If you are insecure with your relationship, rather than suspect him for something he doesn’t do, find out the trigger in yourself.

In my case, bad experience didn’t cause the biggest fear in my life. Growing up reading self-development books, I know I have to believe in myself and be confident. I do believe in myself. But still, what I fear the most is failing. What if I fail? What if I am not good enough?

Isn’t it weird?

It leads me to set high standard for myself. I am highly motivated to thrive more and more. I have to finish a lot of things with my deadline. Not just getting it done, but getting it done perfectly. I became more and more idealist and perfectionist b*tch. I became anxious when things didn’t work out according to my plan as if I forgot that I could never control the situation. It’s beyond my power. And that’s not enough. To the extent that I felt guilty if I weren’t being productive. That’s when I knew that it’s wrong.

Is there any of you, experience the same thing with me?

Why does it happen?

Most probably because we have unclear definition about who we are. So, we use the world’s standard as ours. The world says you have to be successful to be happy and whatsoever.  We don’t know who we are and what truly make us happy. We are just a human who want to fill in the void inside our heart after all. Thus, we often define ourselves with our achievement: be it having successful career, perfect love life the so called #relationshipgoals or that numerous followers on SNS.

I am not saying we should not have goals. We should. Having goal embedded in your heart is what keeps us alive and live passionately every single day. It is okay to be ambitious and achiever. It is okay to pursue happiness. But, we should not let it define ourselves. We should never forget our real identity, that we are the children of God. We are never a failure for we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Always remember regardless of our failure, God loves us unconditionally. If you think you are failing right now, get over it and forgive yourself too dear.

“Your value is not determined by what you have done (or what you will do)”

On the other hand, if we have fully achieved what we pursue in our life, stay being humble because all the glory should be lifted up to Him. It’s not for us to show off. We are nothing if God doesn’t put His vision in us.

When we remember our real identity, we know where we stand and what we stand for.So, let’s learn to stop being anxious while keep doing our best.

Moreover, asking the questions that might seems absurd to yourself, such as: who you are, what do you want to be, what is your fear, is a great start. When you take that questions seriously, and take some more times to think about it, you know more about who you are. You can finally find out something you never know before. Isn’t it what life about? It’s about finding yourself again regardless how the situation has changed you into a different person.

Pamela Kahar
p.felita@gmail.com

A woman who is blessed to be a blessing. A marketer who reads and writes.

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